I’m about to let you into my crazy little warped mind for a moment today. You see, my kids went back to school this morning and I have nothing to do but go through all my old pictures of them and cry. Yes, that’s exactly how I feel… as if i have nothing else to do. Which is obviously absurd since I have tons to do… but these pictures are calling me.
It’s like I can’t not look at them. My babies are going into 4th and 6th grade and we are officially all done with elementary school. Ugh, I’m sobbing again. I can barely take this whole “life flying by” thing.
Don’t get me wrong, that picture going around of the parents clinking wine glasses as the kids get on the bus for the first day of school… I laughed out loud and totally get it. I love that they get this time each day to be independent, interact with their friends, are taught to respect and listen to other adults, and learn how to function without me at their side every second. I love it, I truly do. But it also means that they aren’t dependent on me, they don’t need me to set up play dates, I’m not there when they’re with other adults and they don’t need me at their side every second to function appropriately. I suppose this is the definition of bittersweet, isn’t it??
How was it not just yesterday that I was sending her off to kindergarten and him to 2nd grade?
Look at those cheeks!! Just look at them! But this is what it is, isn’t it? This is life and this is how we roll through it.
We get excited for them to have these wonderful experiences and opportunities while we wax nostalgic and learn a new normal for us as well.
I’m happy for today. I’m happy I get 7 hours of quiet even though I miss the constant chatter. I’m happy I don’t have constant questions about when lunch is, even though I probably won’t eat lunch today because it seems like too much hassle for one person. I’m happy I can run to Target by myself even though I’ll miss the stopping at every other rack because something glittery caught her attention. I’m happy while I sit here crying.
Because my babies are growing up.
And you know what, they’re pretty awesome at this whole growing up thing.
So I’m going to slowly back away from my computer and try my hardest to help myself grow up and learn to take this in stride. While I send up another prayer for them, the new kids and their parents who are much more nervous than we are, the kids who struggle to find friends, the bullies who I hope will use this fresh new year to change their ways, and to all the teachers who wind their way into our lives more than they will ever realize.